Defeat or Acceptance

I haven't really blogged all that much, let alone anything about my recent health struggles.  I've always been a private person to some degree.  But after following other blogs I think it might not bother to share a few personal things.

Not many people know I was recently diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, a neuromuscular auto-immune disease. The name means grave muscle weakness.  It effects everyone a little differently, it can be managed with a few different medications, but there is no cure.  There are days when I feel like I have nothing wrong with me at all, other days I can barely walk, pour myself a cup of coffee, or brush my teeth without holding my tooth brush with both hands!

I began following the blogs of other people living with MG, they have become a source of strength, support, and encouragement.  I'm happy to call them friends!!  Following their posts has made feel okay to start to share things about myself, and this crazy disease.  So thank you to Kerri, Shari, Rach, and so many others I follow!

Okay here goes.....
Defeat or acceptance, sometimes things seem to go along almost like before.  But as of late I've had to make other adjustments that have left me a bit shaken.  Not long ago if I walked to long or to much I simply needed some extra rest to recharge, now that's not enough.  There were days where walking and balance started to become a problem, so I would always grab for a shopping cart, or someones arm for support if a cart wasn't available.  So eventually I admitted DEFEAT, and began taking a cane with me for support.  I've learned to ACCEPT the fact that I needed a little extra help. So I answered curious peoples questions, and didn't let it bother me much.  Now there are days when the cane isn't enough.  So finally I've sucked up my pride and admitted DEFEAT once more, I started using those electric scooters at the stores. What must others think?  Is she fat and lazy...she looks OK to me...maybe an old person needed that scooter!! So now I'm learning to ACCEPT the stares of others. I made some jokes about the scooter with my sister, and put on a big smile and cruised through the stores. But inside I was shaken, was I DEFEATED, or had I ACCEPTED the fact that this is my new life? I came to realize that I must ACCEPT limitations every day, but I will not let MG DEFEAT me!!!!

**I ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MG WILL NOT DEFEAT ME **