New Year, New Me!

New Year, New Me!

New year, new me! We've heard that before. A new year of fresh starts and new beginnings. Resolutions meant to spark change in our lives, improve what we think needs to be "fixed", ways to make us better people, etc. This isn't my style! In some ways I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants person. If I don't make resolutions, I won't be disappointed if things don't turn out as planned. 

What I have noticed is I'm becoming more of a "what if" type of person. What if my MG stops responding to treatment, what if I'm becoming a burden to my family, what if I'm not strong enough to keep my family together, what if I don't have the strength to go on. 2019 was a struggle because of the "What If's" and so many other things. My parents, and youngest sister passed on many years ago, my niece Theresa passed a little more than a year ago, my brother and sister in law moved cross country, and my other niece is making it her mission to challenge me every minute of the day.  The feeling of lose and loneliness has totally consumed my entire being! I've struggled to find joy in all the positive things that 2019 had to offer. 

Today's post is the first of what I hope to be many in 2020. My place to be semi-anonymous, hide behind the curtain that is the internet, yet still feel secure in sharing the ups and downs of my life. MYASTHENIA GRAVIS and DEPRESSION be damned!